keeping sanity with a snap back

Getting married forces you to grow up a little.

 I remember awhile after Nate and I got engaged crying to him and telling him "I don't want to grow up." 

In ways, I still feel that way. But in other ways, it feels okay to grow up. 

But yesterday I may have gotten a little nervous. I looked in the mirror before I left for work and I barely recognized myself. I mean, what was I wearing? 

(I'm still adjusting to the no tank tops or short shorts thing) 

I realized just because I can't wear a lot of my old clothes I can still dress like myself. 

That doesn't have to change. 

Just because I'm married now doesn't automatically mean I have to put on my mom jeans. 

(which i love btw. weird.)

So I put on my snap back and my favorite black shirt with skinny jeans and I knew everything was right with the world.

just a disclaimer for any unmarried:

 giving up some of your wardrobe is totally worth it to be with the one you love FORVER. i promise. 

just like that

& Just Like that.. 

WE'RE MARRIED!!!!

It was honestly the best day of my life. 

I'm still floating on cloud 9. 

I love having a husband who also happens to be my best friend.

We have way too much fun.

Gotta get back to organizing our apartment. Oh the joys of growing up. :/

photos and words to love

Okay first off, we got a sneak peak at some of our engagements and I am so happy with them. I'm way glad i didn't choose the "typical" photographer in Brigham city and took a risk with a girl who has a unique, but awesome  style. (we got along so so good.) & Nate even liked her. That's a big deal. 

Second, I can NOT wait to marry Nathan D in T minus 36 days!!!! ahh that always makes my heart start beating so fast.

We have gotten so many things crossed off our "to-do" lists and we are still madly in love and anxious to be together forever. (holy. CHEESY alert)

Yesterday we found out we got approved to live in the apartments that we wanted to!! They are red brick and so old. but charming and full of character and I can't wait to live there and decorate it the way we want to but mainly just excited to be TOGETHER.

Lastly, it is summer time and summer time is MY time and I am loving it even more than usual. I love waking up at the crack a dawn to go swim laps before the sun peaks over the mountains. I love stopping with sophie on our bikes on the way back from work to get a snowie and talk about old times. I love spending warm nights with Nate and Carson and Suz practicing long boarding and sitting in the church parking lot Laughing so hard. I love motorcycle rides with my love and watching a darling 7 year old's first t-ball game. I love watching the sun set as I ride in Nate's semi listening to "Wagon wheel" ,laughing, talking about wedding, dreaming about our future,and just being with my best friend.

 I love it all. I am so blessed.

SOME WORDS TO LOVE

"You knew, didn’t you, how I needed your language and the mind that formed it? How I relied on your fierce courage to tame wildernesses for me? How strengthened I was by the certainty that came from knowing you would never hurt me? You knew, didn’t you, how I loved your love? You knew.

back to the grind

Welp vacation time is over and it's time for the nitty gritty wedding plans to be put into action. Eloping sounds more and more appealing everyday, let me tell ya. We have 65 days and a huge "To-Do" List- & I'm just hoping we can pull this all together. Holy cow.

 Am I really old enough to be married?

who knows.

What I do KNOW is next time I go on a vacation i will be by Nate's side, and I can't tell you how ecstatic that makes me.

school's out

MY last class of this semester got done at 10:30 late night and I KID YOU NOT I literally SKIPPED to my car because I was so full of joy! 

Finals are finished. 

Pool training has started. 

I've got a head start on my tan.

The smell of Summer is in the air and I couldn't be happier about that.

 Summer is MY time.

 I say this every year but I'm almost POSITIVE this is going to be my favorite summer yet.

 Nate and I already have an exciting bucket list we have to get started on and I know it's sappy but I love being in love with him. 

Even when he sends me pictures of his bloody clothes after working on the farm. 

 

 

"I am a free spirit. Either admire me from the ground or fly with me but don't ever try to cage me."

5 fav photos

Today is one of those days. I pretty much SPRANG out of bed this morning and have been going on HIGH SPEED ever since

. I LOVE today!! I can't help but smile. 

The sun is Shining and its warm and I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts and I just found out I have tomorrow 'till midnight to complete an 8 page paper! (BONUS!!)

Oh, anddd I rocked my final speech last night and I get to see my handsome fiance tonight. (seriously, 2 days feels like a lifetime when we can't see each other.) 

LIFE IF SO GOOD!!! 

Let me share some photos that make my heart smile.

P.S I keep replaying a song over and over. here are the lyrics:

"In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin out over the line
Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
`cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run"

birthday scenes

Holy I am slacking lately.
LISTEN. Life is a little Insane. Actually really insane. but in the best kind of way.

This is my last week of official classes and then it's HELLO to summer and GOODBYE to school. I can't believe how this semester has FLOWN right on by. It's been great but I'm onto bigger and better things.

Here are some of the things I've been up to:
-Staying busy working at the shop and at the gym
-Apartment hunting with my fiance. (whom I adore) but don't ask me how we will ever agree on where to live.
-Trying to squeeze in schoolwork.. when it's convenient :)
 -Talking to a travel agent lady who claims she can get us a GREAT deal to MEXICO for our honeymoon. PERFECT!
-Coming home at midnight and seeing my mom made my bed and shedding a few tears knowing my time left at home is limited.
-Planning a little trip to Florida with my bff Sophie.
-Thrift shopping and being overwhelmed by the idea of decorating our own apartment!
-Dancing in the middle of the street with the love of my life
-Going to aerobic classes. trying to be in TIP=TOP shape for summer. considering, well, some BIG things are happening.
-Shopping for modest summer clothes. (goodbye whole wardrobe of tank tops and shorts)
-Day dreaming about what it will be like to be married to Nate
-Trying not to go crazy thinking about how much I have to do before July 20.

Here's the thing. Planning a wedding is actually a ton of fun. It only gets not so fun when there is stress behind it and you start thinking "I have to do this, I have to do that." Yeah, there is a ton to do. But I am really just trying to enjoy the ride and know that everything will fall together perfectly. I honestly can't wait!! Nothing about our wedding is going to be "typical" or your common run of the mill kind of Utah wedding. and I seriously love that. It is going to be FUN and EXCITING and MEMORABLE and a celebration of Life and Love!!

Multiple times during the day I have to ask myself "How did I get so Lucky?" How did the best thing of my life literally just fall into my lap? I have no idea. All i know is I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING. here are some birthday scenes:

birthdays

For some reason every year when my birthday rolls around I get a bit sentimental.

 I always get sad thinking another year of my life is coming to a close. I'm so weird that way.

 I want to be young forever.

 So let me reminisce a bit about being 20 years old. 

It was BY FAR my FAVORITE age so far. 

I traveled across the world. met the sweetest children alive, who will always have a piece of my heart. I became closer to my family than ever and enjoyed the time we got to spend together.

 I met new friends who instantly became like family.
I spent one last crazy summer with my friends who matter most and did the kind of things you can only get away with when you're young. 

 I learned what it felt like to live FREE and I hope I always live this way. 

I met the man of my dreams, fell in love and got ENGAGED.( holy. didn't see that one coming.)

In a lot of ways I found myself and my place in this world, even if just in a small degree. 

So here it is. my top 20 photos from my 20th year. 

It's safe to say this was a BIG Year for me. 

"What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are — underneath the year that makes you eleven.

Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s sad and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is."

― Sandra Cisneros